Funny Story - Rolls Royce Loan

A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $7,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.

So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $7,000 and the interest, which comes to $19.67. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little confused. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What confuses us is why would you bother to borrow $7,000?"

The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $20 bucks?"

The Christian Bear Funny Story

There was a man who one day didn't feel like going to church so he decided to go hunting instead.

He was out in the bush when he was approached from behind by a bear. He dropped his gun by accident but didn't bother to pick it up.

He ran for his life. Weaving in and out the trees with the bear on his trail. Curving around a tree he triped over its root.

He looked up and the bear looked down. The bear was about to strike at him. He put his hands together and prayed:

"Dear lord, Please let this bear be a christian."

the bear sat down on its bum and held the mans hands, closed his eyes and said: "Dear lord, Thank you for the food that i am about to recieve"

Funny Story About ATM

ATM

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Funny SMS Messages

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
Rest have
-
-
-
Girlfriends!!!!

Interesting moments in our daily routine life

Interesting moments in our daily routine life:

Trying hard to find the mobile when it is in silent mode
A random day dream & then realizing that you were staring at someone by mistake
Restarting the song when you miss your most favorite line
Everything else becoming more interesting when its exam time
Enjoying the moment when someone interrupts the class for an important announcement
Shouting 'sirrrr/missss' when its 1o b4 break...

Life is fun when you take it as simple as it actually is

MOSQUITO Funny Messages

Can v do romance in the evening today?

I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting

reply me soon!

urs lovingly

"MOSQUITO"

Weekdays SMS

Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...

Funny SMS

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!

But I'm only a cartoonist!

Bill Gates Funny Message

What Bill Gates' wife says him when they make love?
Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.

Santa Funny Messages

Officer Santa: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.
Lady: why didn't you tell me when I was removing my CLOTHES?
Officer Santa: Removing clothes is not restricted.

ABCD Funny SMS

You are ABCD
Attractive beautiful cute dear
EFG
Excellent funny gorgeous
HIJ
Hello I am joking ;)

Social Media Funny Messages

Jingle Bells…
Myspace smells, Twitter go away.
Tumblr yuck, Bebo sucks, Facebook all the way! HEY!

Cute SMS

If u r stressed, you'll get pimples..
if u cry,u'll get wrinkles..
So, y don't u smile & get dimples?

Funny A Jokes

A little boy asked his mother:
- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
- Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.

Funny SMS Messages

A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend Friend Asked : Who Is She?
Boy : My Cousin.
The Frend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin.! :D

Once a maths teacher asked a boy
“If U have 12 chocolates,
U give 4 to Hira,
5 to Hina and 3 to Bina
What will U have?”
He replied :
“3 new girl friends”

Sweet SMS Messages

Sweet things are easy to buy,
But

Sweet people are difficult to find,
Life ends when you stop dreaming,
Hope ends when you stop believing,
Love ends when you stop caring,
Friendship ends when you stop sharing,
So share this with whom ever you consider a friend.
To love without condition,
To talk without intention,
To give without reason,
and to care without
“Expectation”

Cool SMS

Friends are like fishes
You have to sit patiently for a long time
To catch a nice one
Just like I caught you
Better stay nice or I’ll fry you.

Funny Student SMS

When I Was Studying
In School Days My Teachers Were Wearing Sun Glasses.
You Know Why?
Because,
.
.
.
.
.
I Was a
BRIGHT STUDENT.

Funny Kids SMS

Sweetest Excuse:
Kid gets Zero in a test.
Father: What this?
Kid: Teacher didn't have More Stars 2 give,
So She Started giving Moon.

Funny Love Jokes

Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don't even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..

MOSQUITO Funny SMS

Can v do romance in the evening today?

I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting

reply me soon!

urs lovingly

"MOSQUITO"

Funny Sms Boy nd Girl in Matric Exam

Ultimate Truth:
.
If a Girl Fails In MATRIC
Then Directly Marriage...
.
.
.
But,
.
.
If a Boy Fails In MATRIC
Then Directly Garrage...
.
Funny But True%-)!

Motivational Message

Four candles were talking to each other

1st-"I am PEACE, no one needs me" & it went off..
2nd-"I am FAITH, nobody believes in me" & it went off..
3rd-"I am LOVE, nobody cares for me" & it went off..
4th-"I can light the other three because I am HOPE & I last forever!"

Life is tough, sometimes impossible to live.. but never lose hope.
I wish that your candle of HOPE lights all your other candles and keep them glowing.
Stay Blessed :)

Funny Women Quotes

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.

I hate women because they always know where things are.
by Malcolm de Chazal

Women are scientifically proven to be right even when they are wrong.

A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.

Man has will, but woman has her way.

What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Women make me happy. Once accepting that i will never be able to understand them makes me more happier.

A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.

There are two ways to rule a women and nobody knows them..

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… just couple of nations not talking with each other.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

Women sleep on the right side of the bed because even while sleeping they have to be right!

Men will spend 2 bucks on a 1 buck item that they desperately need. Women will spend 1 buck on a 2 buck item that they don’t need at all.

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's - That's because she changes it more often.

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

Place Always Matters

Most beautiful words
...BUT,I AM WITH YOU
.
Most painful words
I AM WITH YOU, BUT...
.
Words are the same BUT in different places!! so yes place always matters!

Good Night SMS

As u go 2 bed 2night,
I ordered bats 2 guard u tight.
I told some ghosts to dance in white, & 2 make sure u r alert,
i'LL ask the dracula 2 kiss ur neck goodnight..

Funny Monkey SMS

3 monkeys escaped from the zoo...
One was caught watching TV...
Another playing football...
And the third one...
(scroll down for answer)











No its not you...

Why do u always think u r a monkey?

SANTA Funny Jokes

SANTA went to court

JUDGE:
"Order ! Order !"

SANTA:
"1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"

JUDGE:
"Shut Up !"

SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!

Funny SmS Messages

Once a maths teacher asked a boy
“If U have 12 chocolates,
U give 4 to Hira,
5 to Hina and 3 to Bina
What will U have?”
He replied :
“3 new girl friends”

Funny SMS Joke

I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
But I can’t send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So I’m sending you just 1 joke
.
.
.
“You are so beautiful”

Funny SMS Messages

Difference Between
Girls N Boys
- - - -

If A Girl Meets With
...Accident, Then Its Mistake
Of Others.
If A Boy,
Hey Man.. Dont You Know How
To Drive ..."

When A Girl Cries,
"The World Consoles Her."
But When A Boy Cries,
"Come On Man Don't
Be A Girl..." =D

Funny SMS Messages

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me
and I just wanted to give you notice
that I noticed you too.

Friendship SMS Messages

Friendship is a network that needs..
NO Recharge!
NO Roaming!
NO Validity!
NO activation!
NO Signal prbms!
Just don’t switch off ur Heart…

Funny Mosquito SMS Message

At Night If Mosquito Bites,
What Should We Do.?
?
?
?
?
Just Scratch N Sleep Again
We R Not Rajnikant
2 Make The Mosquito Say Sorry.

what is Good Character of Human?

Components of Good Character

Moral Knowing

• Moral Awareness
• Knowing moral values
• Perspective-taking
• Moral reasoning
• Decision-making
• Self-knowledge

Moral Feeling:

• Conscience
• Self-esteem
• Empathy
• Loving the good
• Self-control
• Humility

Moral Action

• Competence
• Will
• Habit